There is a WHOLE lot of crazy in the world. There are things pressing in on us all the time, from everywhere that can lead to a complete nervous break down when you allow it. Things drawing on our energy, demanding our attention, taking up our time, swallowing us whole. Sometimes it feels like, at the end of "Ghost", when the shadows swarm up and start pulling the guy into hell? That is the feeling of the crazy taking control.
Stresses - and there are a BUTT LOAD of them aren't there? Family, financial responsiblity... shit, I got as far as that and stalled out. I got overloaded by ALL THAT ENTAILS. It's exhausting just thinking about how MUCH there is to stress about JUST in those two areas. So I'll let you fill in your own blanks in those areas and move on!
There are temptations - drugs, addictions, fun, parties, sex, glamors. All these beautiful things. Temporal things. Dangerous things.
There is LOVE. Love can make you crazy. In good ways and in bad. And when it is bad, it can be VERY, VERY bad.
There is MONEY and SUCCESS. If I just have more and more and more and if I had more, why...THAT would solve all my problems.
There is loss. Sadness and death and missing those we love. There are tears and darkness and desperation. All the things in life that aren't so good but very real.
There is all this...STUFF! Out there in the world. Pressing and pulling us. Making us jump at one thing or another.
I know whereof I speak. For you see, in my own time, I have been mad. I've chased the demons. I've lived in the dark. I've been overwhelmed. But this is what I know:
When you know who you really are, you find your center. Your path. Your core. Your true self. Call it what you will but you'll know it when you find it. It's the TRUTH about YOU. What makes you happy. What makes you sane. What puts you in a place where you can grow. Where your soul is supposed to be.
As your searching for it, you find it. You know...that day, where you are sitting in the sun, and you close your eyes and take a deep breath and you feel it. Or someone gives you a hug. Someone you really care about and in that embrace, there is that flash of light. Or you create something really brilliant. You can feel that whatever you were trying to achieve, you captured it and it made your heart perfect just for an instant. Or spiritual moments that pour over you and literally lift you up. Where...just there...just for a second...you might have glimpsed an answer. Those moments can be SO fleeting - so elusive - that sometimes we don't recognize them for what they really are.
But when you do start to recognize them and we start acknowledging them, the fragments start forming a complete whole. You start saving all those pieces and you store them away in your heart. After a time, they aren't little anymore. They coalesce into something big and real and solid. That is the CORE. THAT is the REAL YOU. Where you are your best and brightest. THEN, you can start adding things to the core. You can fill it up with all that is noble and good and pure and beautiful. The things that bring you joy. The things that make you want to be your best. The things that REALLY mean something in this life. Not the bullshit, not the clap trap, not the NONSENSE!
Because I know this, life is breathtakingly short. Our allotted days are numbered from birth and there is really so little time for crap. That is one of the "gifts" cancer has given me, (and they are few, so I must treasure every one!) the ability to see through bullshit! We surround ourselves with so much STUFF that DOESN'T MATTER. Our lives are full of so much clamorous, crucial, critical NONSENSE that we forget to appreciate those we love. Or we miss a beautiful sunset. Or we refuse to acknowledge goodness because we are just too wrapped up in things that have no WORTH in the grand scheme of things. Shit in our head telling us we aren't good enough, or we aren't happy enough or we aren't stimulated enough, or we don't have enough, so we must chase more and more and more shit to make us happy...meanwhile the happy slips through our fingers.
The core is always changing. Mercurial and shifting, because we must be flexible in life. Things come and things go. Something that once made us happy, can make us sad. Sometimes things have to be replaced in the core. Sometimes they have to be removed. Being flexible is part of the core's best magic. As we change and grow, the things that make us happy and that make us the best "us" changes. New things replace things we don't need anymore. People come in and out of the core. Dreams that made us happy in one phase, don't in another.
When you stay near the core, you have a better chance of the crazy not finding you. When something starts to drag you out of the light, you have to embrace that core. When one of those pressures starts to consume you, you need to let go of it. Drop it like a bad habit and run! Get back to that core! When you feel like you are out there on the edge, when all hope is lost, when you just can't take any of it for even one more second, you are NOT at the core of who you really are. You are not in control. You are allowing something else to lead you. Something that just isn't in that core. You know this because it isn't nurturing you, because it isn't lifting you up, because it isn't love or truth or goodness or just or pure or lovely. Those swarming shadows have got you and they are trying to drag you down.
You have to be able to fight. Your joy and light have to be more important to you then whatever crazy shit is trying to drag you down. You have to be able to refuse to wallow in whatever it is. Every minute that you give to the darkness - every second you let crazy take you from your core - is a moment in time that you have denied goodness and light and that is a choice. You can look crazy in the eye and say, "I know all I need to know about that". Then you can put it down and walk away. Whether it be an addiction, sorrow, people, bad choices, or everyday stresses. You have it in your power to say you don't need or want that anymore and choose the core.
I have discovered the secret to life! Are you ready? The secret to life is: there ain't no secret. All that really matters in this life are the things that bring you joy. The things that make you your very best self. The things that you store in the core. Everything else is a waste of time and energy. Everyday you have to get up and overcome your SELF in this world. EVERY SINGLE DAY. Cuz life doesn't stop. There's always something trying to suck your soul. The secret is not to let it.
The visual interpretation. Thanks, Sarah H.!
