Goodbye Pope Benny

WOW!  It's all over the news today about the Pope's retirement.  I'm completely caught up in every detail.

Let me start by saying, I don't have any religious attachment to the Pope because I'm not Catholic.  Because I'm not Catholic, I don't understand the whole...idea of the Pope.  I mean, I get that he's the spiritual leader of 1.2 billion people in the world and the ultimate head of the Catholic church.  But I don't FEEL any personal connection to that. 

Having said that, there are things I love about the Catholic church.  I love the beauty and solemnity of it.  The history, the pomp and circumstance.  The 2,000 year old ritual of it all is wondrous to me.  The corruption and the manipulation of religion for power and money ala Borgia Popes is riveting and important to history.  Plus, they always seemed a little closer to "evil", what with the exorcisms and all, and that is fascinating to me.  So I have a secret affinity for the Catholic Church.  I've traveled to Rome and Vatican City and Saint Peters a hundred times in my mind because I'm spellbound.  I'm enraptured with the idea of the Vatican City archives!  Can you IMAGINE? *swoon*  Count me as one of the faithful when it is time for midnight mass on Christmas Eve or Easter morning mass.

Pope John Paul II actually made me feel that he was a deeply spiritual person.  He seemed like he had sought and found answers and it showed all over him.  I feel the same way about the Dalai Lama. They exude devotion and virtuousness.  They feel venerable.  I was sad when John Paul died and I watched all the proceedings of the Papal conclave when it was time to choose his replacement.   Black smoke, white smoke...they are in the SISTINE CHAPEL fer pity sake!  It boggles the mind.   After all that, what they came up with was Benedict XVI.  And I felt nothin'.  He just seemed like...an old guy to me.  He didn't seem like he was "into" the whole being Pope thing.  He didn't seem special or chosen.  He just didn't do it for me.  But I'm not Catholic, so it isn't important that he did.  I just sort of...wanted him to.  Because I didn't care for him, I immediately deemed him Pope Benny and sort of lost some of my romance with the Papacy.

Now, after only eight years, he's decided to retire.  RETIRE?  From being the chosen head of the whole Catholic Church?  Who does that?  "You know, I'm just tired of this whole chosen Father thing.  I want to finish my life in a different way."  It seems so weird.  I mean, the idea of being the Pope is supposed to be...sacred and stuff, right?  I can't imagine you'd been called to anything higher or more important.  It all kinds of adds to what I felt from the start - he just wasn't IT.  Now even HE is admitting it.

The last pope to retire was Pope Gregory XII. 
"Pope Gregory XII (1406 - 1415) was elected as the legitimate pope at a time when there were two anti-popes: The Avignon Pope, Benedict XIII, who was supported by the French king; and the Pisa Pope, John XXIII, who was supported by conciliarists of the renegade Council of Pisa. (Please be sure to note that neither of these two latter mentioned pope were really pope.) Finally, at the Council of Constance (an official council), in order to heal the Church, Pope Gregory XII officially resigned, Benedict XIII resigned and John XXIII was deposed; Pope Martin V (1417 - 1431) was then elected as the legitimate successor of St. Peter, following Gregory XII."  ( http://www.catholiceducation.org/articles/religion/re0786.html )

This guy was facing a TON of issues and a huge rift in the Church.  It seems like it would have been the best thing for him to step down, get rid of all the "anti-popes", wipe the slate clean and start over.  But Pope Benny isn't facing anything like that.  He just seems to have gotten bored with the whole thing and decided to move on.  Of course, we all know that the Catholic church has faced a lot of backlash for the involvement with child sexual abuse.  Which is huge and ugly and should definitely, in my opinion, be dealt with swiftly and harshly.  But it didn't seem to have enough presence behind it to justify a Pope stepping down.  Maybe I wasn't the only one "not feeling" Pope Benny?  Maybe a huge portion of the Church wasn't feeling him either?  That would effect people who really ARE supposed to feel some reverence for him, wouldn't it?  Do you think advisers came to him and said, "You know, you just aren't eliciting enough admiration.  We're gonna have to let you go so we can find someone who will whip up some fervor again."?  Or that he himself thought, "I'm ineffective.  No one is buying me as Pope.  I should move on so they can find someone to really LEAD the Church."  That would be less self serving than, "I'm just tired of it."

It all seems very sketchy to me.  It seems there has to be more going on.  Some subterfuge or trickery.  A manipulation of things by participants behind the scenes, which would fit the idea of the Catholic church controlling and running things.  I almost hope there is because it might renew my old fire for the mysteriousness they represent.  What I hope more is that, after going through the conclave (which I will definitely be watching) and choosing a new Pope, they actually elect someone that people can believe in again.  Someone honest and sincere.  Someone who wants what is right and just.  Someone who elicits hope, peace and inspiration.  Someone who brings about a change for good in the world.  Someone even I can believe in.